[Backdated to after Crane's post, because Bones grumpy. :|]

For the record, this is my universe. I've been to this planet before, and anything you pick up, either I or the hospital here can treat. Nothing's gonna come as a surprise, and the sooner you fess up about whatever the hell you did to yourself, the sooner it'll stop being an issue.

They've got UT's at the hospital, but the doctors should know how to speak English anyway. Don't be an idiot if you get hurt.

[Spam for Arya]

( tl;dr spam, cut to spare your flists. )

For any of the new arrivals, I'm Dr. Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Office on board the starship Enterprise back home and head of the infirmary here. I'd really appreciate it if anyone who hasn't already could come down for a medical exam. Since most of you come in without medical records on hand for us to look at, it gives us an idea of what's normal for you in case you're ever hurt on board. Existing medical conditions, allergies, that kind of thing. They only take a couple minutes, the procedure's done without touching you and the results are confidential.

And as long as we're on the subject, we're kinda understaffed at the moment since Caesares and Martha left, and most of the support care inmates have either graduated or left. If anyone's got any medical experience and wants to lend a hand, contact me and we can try to work something out. Inmates will need their warden's permission before they're allowed on support staff.

[Warden Filter]

I was also thinking - especially after what happened in October - we should get a list of people who can help out in the event something happens where most of the normal people on staff are incapacitated, especially since it's just me and the Doctor as actual doctors on staff.

I'd be happy with anyone with some first aid experience or knows how to help out in a medical crisis, and if people are interested in being trained further, that can definitely be arranged. The list will be kept posted in the infirmary and people on support staff will be kept up to date with who to call in case [Something awful happens to me and everyone else. :U] something happens.

[Private to Jim]

I'm putting you down on the list whether you like it or not.

[Private to Arya]

You have a good time with Arthur? [Please tell me you didn't seriously injure him and leave him to suffer in the CES. :|]

[ooc: The list of people who want to be used as extra 911 contacts will be posted and updated here, and now's also a good time to go post there if your character has a preexisting medical condition Bones and the rest of the infirmary staff should know about! This ranges from noticeable injuries, psychological issues, infirmary related triggers, biological differences from humans, allergies and history of addiction, so if there's anything medically relevant, post away!]

[Bones has set up shop in the infirmary just like usual, despite being a cranky fifteen year old, and has managed to get his hands on some blue scrubs that... kind of fit. He does not look pleased to be several inches shorter and going through puberty again, but let's be real here people, Bones rarely looks particularly pleased about anything.]

The infirmary's still open. I don't care if I'm a kid, I can still operate a tricorder and administer hypos, so if anyone gets hurt, don't keep it to yourself. There're still people around who can help you out.

Jim, Arya- [Whatever he was going to say is getting interrupted by unhappy screeching, and McCoy picks up a plush tribble, opens up the velcro pouch where the controls are, clicks the switch over and the screeching is replaced with cooing instead.

That's right, he got a toy tribble for Christmas. And he just rolls his eyes and sets it aside. The cooing can still be heard off screen.]

Just tell me if you need anything.

[ooc: I will be replying with damnitjocelyn again. <3]

[McCoy sounds slightly out of breath, and is trying to get this out of the way as fast as possible, because the crew members are eying those sharp things, and Bones doesn't want to be distracted when they start coming at him again. He's stunned two of them with his phaser by now. His accent is much more pronounced, and he's talking much faster than usual.]

Caesares was right, these things are trying to kick us out of the infirmary. If anyone can come help grab supplies before they - goddammit -

[There's a blast of phaser fire before the feed cuts.]

[Private to Jim]

You had better not be dead.

[Private to Sloth]

Where are you?

[Friends Filter - if you think you're on it, you are.]

Sound off,

[ooc: And feel free to spam in the infirmary as the horrible monsters decide to start kicking us all out.]

Paris. Not exactly where I'd pick for some shore leave, but I guess I'll take it. Way everyone was talking, kind of figured this would be a hell of a lot worse.

Anyone know what happened to the Eiffel Tower?

[Private to Sloth]

You want to do some exploring? Figure this is a little different from what you're used to, might as well take advantage of it.

[Private to Jim]

Do I even wanna know what you've been up to since we got dumped off?

[Private to Spock]

Don't suppose you brought along a Universal Translator, did you? [He is totally not checking up on you because he cares or anything. Of course not. :|]

[Private to John Connor]

I've got a medkit with me, so if you need anything, let me know. I don't know what kind of medical facilities we'd have access to here, but I'm not sure I really want to find out, either.

[Private to Arya]

Keeping out of trouble?

[ooc: This is supposed to be for day one of port, but if you have other stuff you'd want to poke him about/drag him into, post away. c:]

[Hello again, Barge. This time, McCoy sounds a little less clipped and frazzled and more just grouchy, because he’s had time to settle in, but he’s still very :| about the whole idea of being able to just walk around on deck in the open air with space just… hanging out there. It’s a strange thing to adjust to.

... He has definitely been keeping as far away from the deck railing as possible, if he's even wandered out there since Jim dragged him out there.]

I already got the talk about the ship not always bein' like this, and lookin' like it's about ready to get hauled off to some scrapyard, but is anyone else bothered by the fact that we’re wanderin’ around on a ship whose hull’s apparently got the strength of goddamn rice paper? What’re we even crashin’ into out here? It’s not like we’re tryin’ to navigate around some asteroid field.

I’m not sure what’s worse, havin’ your eyeballs pop in a real hull breach or come back psychologically damaged from some goddamned left turn that sends us crashin’ into whatever the hell there is to bump into out here.

And that's just how it is? And no one else's all that worried about it? What the hell happens if you fall over the side?

[Private to Jim]

So, what'd you do that got Martha askin' about phaser burns? [Because lolz it was definitely not Spock. :|]