Do you people need hobbies or something? I can promise you, reading or knitting or whatever's way more productive than stabbing each other in the hallways. Good God. [Heavy, heavy sigh. Fuck all of you and your stab happy bullshit. :\]

For any new arrivals, I'm Doctor Leonard McCoy. I'm the Chief Medical Officer on board the Starship Enterprise back home and I'm the head of the infirmary here.

Some ground rules: you are not allowed to leave the infirmary until you've checked in with a doctor so if you fall on your ass in the hallway during your escape attempt, we've at least got an idea of where the hell you wandered off to and can come looking. The infirmary is always staffed by a medical professional, who are all here to help you when you need it. Don't be a moron and hide something that's just gonna do more damage when it heals incorrectly. We're not gonna bite you.

Anyone who hasn't come in for a quick exam yet should get in here as soon as possible. The procedure's done without physical contact and the results are confidential. They're just used as a baseline so we know what's normal for you in case you're ever brought in here too injured to give proper medical information. [You don't want to die on the operating table because you forgot to mention you're allergic to some antibiotics or painkillers. :|]

Anyone who's medically trained who wants to lend a hand, or anyone who'd like to brush up on some first aid should contact me. Any inmates who volunteer will need their warden's permission before they're approved.

[ooc: If anyone currently in the infirmary/visiting the infirmary/what have you wants to spam him, I am totally down for it! He basically lives in there.]

Ninjas or no ninjas, the infirmary's still in one piece and I'm not planning on going anywhere, so if anyone's got any issues, don't keep quiet about it.

[Filtered away from Shendu + Anyone who's been public about wanting to help him]

Is anyone down in Zero hurt at all? And since we're even more short staffed than usual [Bawww Merlin come back. :C] if anyone's still free who's got experience treating injuries, let me know so I can get in touch in case someone else decides this is a good time for a violent rampage and the ninjas don't stop 'em first.

[Private to Jim]

Don't do anything stupid.

[Private to Arya]

[... c+p from above.]

Should I bother asking if you're keeping out of trouble?