TWENTY SEVEN | SPAM

[imaythrowuponyou]

[Spam for Kirk]

McCoy had, honestly, not paid a lot of thought to what Flynn graduating meant. He'd been busy, kinda frustrated with general life on the Barge and infirmary stuff, and then Arya had set some stuff on fire on deck, and while that wasn't really concerning in and of itself? He knew she was depressed and wanted to get out of here just as much as the next person.

So after making sure she had that under control and other wardens weren't going to come by and freak out about what was going on, he'd headed back to the infirmary to just kill some time and pretend he wasn't stuck on this piece of shit boat. Usually, if he locked the door and read over some medical journals from back home with some decent coffee in the office, he could sort of trick himself into thinking he was back on Enterprise, or at least give himself the alone time he needed on days like today.

But when he opened the door and turned on the light, he discovered apparently someone else had thought they needed some alone time in the office. Or, really, he'd had to have known McCoy would be coming back in at some point, so maybe he'd wanted the doctor to find him without actually seeking him out.

"Jim?"

Comments

[captain_jtkirk]

"Why are you apologizing, you haven't done anything wrong."

[imaythrowuponyou]

"This still shouldn't be happening," he said quietly.

[captain_jtkirk]

"It's my own fault isn't it. I just jump without thinking and here we are. Stuck because of a technicality."

[imaythrowuponyou]

"Hey-" McCoy let go of him a little so he could actually look Jim in the face and say this. "This is not your fault. The Admiral dragged you back here after-" And he fought through the sudden feeling of tightness in his chest to keep his voice more or less level. "It happened, and he's the one who's dicking you out of getting something you deserve. This isn't your fault."

[captain_jtkirk]

"If I hadn't been shot, we wouldn't be here. End of story. You're only here because of me."

[imaythrowuponyou]

"Yeah, and I'm gonna be here until we figure this out. I don't care if it takes another ten years, I'm staying on this boat until we can both go home. This is not your fault. It's his."

He tried to force a smile. "And I guess because I'm too damn stubborn to give up on you."

[captain_jtkirk]

That meant a lot, it really did. "I can't spend another ten years here," he whispered. "I can't spend another ten months."

[imaythrowuponyou]

"I know." Bones carefully pulled him back into a hug, trying to give him something solid to lean against and provide support, because he seemed like he kind of desperately needed it right now. "We'll figure it out. I promise. We're not gonna be stuck here forever."

[captain_jtkirk]

Either the hug or a drink or both.

"No. But longer and I will shove that kid in a suitcase before I let her dabble around for two years like Shego did."

[imaythrowuponyou]

"We'll figure it out," he repeated, rubbing his back and trying not to think too hard about what Jim was going to do if it started looking like that was going to happen.

[captain_jtkirk]

"Please stop saying that."

[imaythrowuponyou]

"Sorry."

[captain_jtkirk]

"Stop saying that too, Bones. I don't want an apology or sympathy or whatever else."

[imaythrowuponyou]

"Then what the hell do you want me to say, Jim? This isn't something I can fix with a goddamned hypospray! The only thing I can fucking do is what we've been doing, and that's obviously not good enough!" McCoy was a doctor. He was supposed to fix things, and help people, and make them better, and right now all he could do was sit there and hope things would get better. And that really fucking sucked.

So sorry, Jim, you're being yelled at a little. Mostly from a place of desperation and concern.

"You don't think it drives me crazy to know what this is doing to you - to all of us - and not be able to do anything to change it? I get it, you're more than allowed to be a selfish ass about this, but good god, Jim, I'm just trying to help, and I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to do that right now."

[captain_jtkirk]

Sometimes Kirk needed a little yelling.

He pulled away from McCoy when he raised his voice the first time, staring at him for a moment before his shoulders slumped.

"Get me drunk and tell me the Admiral's an ass and humor my sarcastic comments. Don't pander to me."

[imaythrowuponyou]

McCoy huffed out what was probably the world's most frustrated sigh and gestured to the bottle on the floor, scowling at him.

"The Admiral's an ass. There's your goddamn bottle."

[captain_jtkirk]

"Thank you," Jim said, lacking a lot of force behind that because the effort of it was almost too hard. He reached for the bottle but didn't open it just yet. "What if instead of pushing Arya, I jump off the side?"

[imaythrowuponyou]

McCoy rolled his eyes and just kept right on scowling, because seriously, Jim? "Don't you fucking dare, you stupid ass. I get why you don't wanna be here anymore, but I'd really rather not have to make another deal to drag you back from whatever alternate universe you end up stranding yourself in."

[captain_jtkirk]

"You'd have to fulfill your first one first," Kirk pointed out with bitterness but that was mostly aimed at the Admiral and not at Bones. "Otherwise, sudden stickler for the rules will laugh at you."

[imaythrowuponyou]

"Don't. Just don't, alright?" He sounded tired, he felt tired, and he really just wanted to be having this conversation back on Enterprise, in his actual office. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be talking about this, he wanted to go home and have things be normal and bitch at Jim for not being more careful on away missions and fool around on shore leave, and fuck, at this point he even missed Spock, that's how homesick he was.

"I get it, believe me, I do, but I'm gonna be selfish right now and say you don't get to do something like that to me."

[captain_jtkirk]

"Sorry," Kirk said, realizing how that sounded after he'd said it. "I just want to go home."

[imaythrowuponyou]

McCoy sighed, leaning back against the couch, his voice surprisingly normal. "Me too, kid."

[captain_jtkirk]

"Let's drink then because this is depressing."

[imaythrowuponyou]

He wasn't really in the mood to get drunk in some ways, but he wasn't really in the mood to argue, either. "Fine."

[captain_jtkirk]

Kirk wasn't really sure if he was in the mood to drink either. There was something restless settling into his bones, where sitting around and accepting this new fate that was being handed to him wasn't going to be enough. It was like an itch he couldn't scratch enough. Maybe shoving Arya off the side was a joke but he had to do something.

"Do you even have glasses in here?"

[imaythrowuponyou]

"Just coffee mugs." Which he was standing up to retrieve. They were clean, and he handed one to Jim as he sat down next to him again, still looking a little burnt out and frustrated.

"With the way these assholes act when I'm doing my job well? The last thing I need 'em thinking is that their doctor's an alcoholic."